totally burnt out last week
lived totally recklessly
furthest i ever ever felt from God
And i didn;t care
relished the detachment
felt totally empty inside
purposeless.. drifting.. wondering why on earth i am here

i know all the right answers
i didn't feel anything
for some reason, i don;t feel guilty
i don't know

Thank God for friends
like JF, JC and the rest..
that somehow just asked me out this wkend
(tho i usually don't hang out with them)

reminding me of the need for people.. company..
being in Christian company..
when the rest of the week.. i feel so isolated from friends.. and even coursemates.. since i'm alone on placement now..

Their listening ear..
and JF's absolutely childish teasing.. pushing me around in church during worship...
almost bursting out laughing with jan and him when the worship leader started singing " This is the air I breathe.." (No flo.. that song has never been the same since u complained about it... haha)
and his burping in my face.. happily offering me rides everywhere..then complaining..he never grows up.. haha...
it just cheered me up..
I'm coming back.. slowly..
Help me find you again, God.

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Had a lovely lovely time hanging out after church today.. in williamstown..
the weather was all good .. blue skies and sunshine, just a bit chilly cos its winter.. but.. as good as it'll get i reckon :)
eating fish and chips by the pier...
walking through the sunday flea markets with all its exotic intricacies.. begging to be bought..
and the number of dogs out..
my gosh.. so cute.
almost every couple/family out had a dog.. all the little ones.. poodles.. and all sorts lah..
very very cute.
and all so obedient and quiet.. happily skimpering along.

the quaintness of the place.. plently of sidewalk cafes.. bustling with pple (and dogs)
the sea breeze..
was absolutely refreshing..
then sitting down for coffee and cakes.. a gigantimous strawberry cheesecake and mars bar choc cake shared among 5 people...
just bumming.. talking about life.. and all stupid goss of OCF.
it was good.

i think i'm ready for this week.