compemplating getting a pair of blades..
super cheap warehouse sale at albert park this wk! :)

and gotta go skiing.
gotta gotta gotta.

ironic.
when u do a dark (read: all black) load of laundry
and stick a tissue in there (and i don't normally carry tissues around anyway)

its murphy's law: when u do a DARK load.. there WILL be a lurking piece of tissue hanging around in a pocket
waiting to deposit white fluff all over your clothes
sighs.

changed my blog skin again..=)
its cute..
abit childish... but... cute nontheless.. and it makes me happy.
so there.

loving clinics at the moment
the more i do neuro.. the more i like it.. and the more i think i'm definately going down this specialisation..
the patients are so incredibly complex and funny.. they keep me SO entertained.

like the movie 50 first dates..
i introduce myself to my patient.. lets call him Mr X like.. 5 times in a session..
and he keeps forgetting my name..
or the lady that tells me about her shoulder injection 8 times in 1/2 an hour.. repeating exactly the same thing.. it would sound really funny.. if it wasn't so sad, cos of their short term memory losses because of brain damage (due to car accidents..)

and i met the most funny Greek guy.. elderly.. who was watching his sister do physio..
and like in the movie " My Big Fat Greek Wedding" where the dad was explaining how everything in the world originated frm the greeks..
my elderly guy was happily proclaiming the virtues and great history of the greeks..
"You see! Mathematics.. Greek!
the stars and space.. Greek!
and the americans who put the shuttle into space.. Greek idea too!"
don't ask me how though..
but i found the conversation so hilarious.. it was as if it was straight out of the movie..

and learning all these greeks words..
like proper greek.
its cool
i can speak greek now. haha
and a smattering of italian.

Oh. and had to help with a contonese elderly lady's conversation
man that was hard. and so funny..
" what colour do u want our walking frame in? red, green or blue?"
i took 10 mins to try to get her to understand in my extremely limited cantonese..
while she was telling me in cantonese " I don't understand" and i was telling her" I don't speak cantonese" that was the only part of the conversation that was absolutely clear. Oh dear.

Holidays in 1 week.
i can't wait!!!

got verycute guy in same hospital as me now!
and he is seriously c-u-t-e
french-german mix
very friendly and chatty (initiated conversation): Check
talked about everything under the sun.. (firguratively and literally.. sitting out in the garden.. haha)
Doesn't like vegemite and beer: Very different for an aussie..
Almost nearly grew up in Singapore..
slightly dark, tall.. and very muscular: Check
Slightly rebellious-- one pierced top earring (exactly like mine): Check
dressed in black long sleeved shirt folded up to sleeves today: Damn cute

AND...
with every "perfect" guy.. always got down side lah.
1) last day i'm seeing him
2) SO-VERY-OBVIOUSLY attached (clingy girlfriend that calls him during lunch.. so loud.. i could hear the whole conversation.. " Hi! What are you doing?" urgh)

So.. there you go!
the end of 2nd week clinic.. 2 more weeks to go..

i feel my rebellious streak stirring again..

wanna pierce another ear hole.. but not EXTREMELY want to.. at the momemt..
want to put blond streaks in my hair
NOT lian blonde.. a NICE shade..
or maybe purple...hurms..
hohoho...

maybe i'll do something even more stupid too..
i'll do it when i come to it..
i LOVE spotaneneity when things happen
nothing planned

but too tired to do all that at the mo
maybe during my hols
and go skiing
gotta get down to my assignment.
sighs
i tell u.. its the final stresses of uni getting to me.
everyone says graduation is soon
SOON!!
When is SOON?
it seems so within reach
and so far away
like a candy bar held tantalisingly out of reach
UGRHS
on another note.. the new "Boost" choc bar by calbury is not bad
u gotta like caramel tho.. sort of like twix.

caught up with a dear pri sch friend who is studing in adelaide at the moment
hohoho.... the amt of food we ate staggering..
and ending up at koko black with choc donuts in warm choc sauce with choc ice cream
mans.. it was omg good

i'm still shocked by some things she said and did..
still thinking it over in my head
i don't think i'll ever want to be that reckless with my life.
remind me.. dear bloggie.

"where have all the good people gone!
where have all the good people gone!
where have all the good people gone!"

Thats Jan's maddeningly thrilling repeat phrase today
apparently its some song
and she can't remember any thing else with the rest of the lyrics..
just wanting to annoy me...
called her a "RETARD!!!!"
and she went " Hurmps! u are not driving my car tom!"
and promptly went to hide her car keys
so i switched off her room lights while she was reading the newest Harry potter
chanting stupid spell words to ignore me..
haha.
have such a dumb time being childish..
cos i'll have to bug her for the keys tom morn.. when she will be all grumpy and sleepy..
mans..

treating my patients are so funny but sad..
and this is completely diff to Jan..
they are DEFINATELY NOT RETARDS.
but its like.. the movie version of "50 first dates"
where i get asked and ask the same question gazillion times during the same session
cos of their short term memory probs
i get told the same thing 5 times by my patient..
and if it wasnt' real and so sad..
it would look so funny to an outsider.
what would it be ike to lose your memory?
a partof you so dear and precious
sometimes i dunno if its good or bad..
to remember.

totally burnt out last week
lived totally recklessly
furthest i ever ever felt from God
And i didn;t care
relished the detachment
felt totally empty inside
purposeless.. drifting.. wondering why on earth i am here

i know all the right answers
i didn't feel anything
for some reason, i don;t feel guilty
i don't know

Thank God for friends
like JF, JC and the rest..
that somehow just asked me out this wkend
(tho i usually don't hang out with them)

reminding me of the need for people.. company..
being in Christian company..
when the rest of the week.. i feel so isolated from friends.. and even coursemates.. since i'm alone on placement now..

Their listening ear..
and JF's absolutely childish teasing.. pushing me around in church during worship...
almost bursting out laughing with jan and him when the worship leader started singing " This is the air I breathe.." (No flo.. that song has never been the same since u complained about it... haha)
and his burping in my face.. happily offering me rides everywhere..then complaining..he never grows up.. haha...
it just cheered me up..
I'm coming back.. slowly..
Help me find you again, God.

---------------------------------
Had a lovely lovely time hanging out after church today.. in williamstown..
the weather was all good .. blue skies and sunshine, just a bit chilly cos its winter.. but.. as good as it'll get i reckon :)
eating fish and chips by the pier...
walking through the sunday flea markets with all its exotic intricacies.. begging to be bought..
and the number of dogs out..
my gosh.. so cute.
almost every couple/family out had a dog.. all the little ones.. poodles.. and all sorts lah..
very very cute.
and all so obedient and quiet.. happily skimpering along.

the quaintness of the place.. plently of sidewalk cafes.. bustling with pple (and dogs)
the sea breeze..
was absolutely refreshing..
then sitting down for coffee and cakes.. a gigantimous strawberry cheesecake and mars bar choc cake shared among 5 people...
just bumming.. talking about life.. and all stupid goss of OCF.
it was good.

i think i'm ready for this week.

so tired.
no energy to write much
except to say
neurology patients are some of the most fasinating, hilarious and incredibly sad people i have worked with
They make you wanna laugh and cry at the same time..
when u see them do the most silliest of actions and speech..
and just want to burst out laughing
and at the same time.. feel so much compassion and pity..
for the lives they have lost..
the things they do.. and can't do
the things they aren't aware of
and think
that could be me
that one car accident.. can change a life forever
that it could happen to anyone.

To be robbed of the prime of your life,
never knowing or experiencing the simpleness of truly living..
its so hard treating them,,
when they are my age., 20... 18.. 23.. 25..

to simply walk out off work.. knowing i can walk, think, talk and feel.
its a truly exhilarating feeling.

On another note..
had to do hydro today..
swimming in winter is bad
i have a tummy.
I look FaT.
shite.

last day of hospital!
i got 2 kisses today!
*bigsmile*

freedom is:

getting into a car and driving off.

though it DOES feel better to be driven. sometimes.
i now fully understand the absolute loathing of drivers to take public transport.

I just don't know if i really want to drive tHAT badly. with manual. urghs.

another day in hospital..

was so touched today..
put my patient back into bed..
after a big walk
(she's 95!!) i wanna be like her!
if i ever get to 95..
and was joking with her how we didnt go far enough to meet any handsome elderly gentlemen today..
and how we MUST go further tommorow to find some!

And as i left.. the elderly lady in the next bed called out to me( not my patient)..
and she just grabbed both my hands..
and said" I want to take a good look at you. Thank you so much for all you are doing for us. If we don't improve, it's us.. it not all you lovely people.. thank you so much.."
I think i'm gonna remember her name for the rest of my life.. though i'm not or never going to treat or see her again in my life after this.
Some patients, you never forget.

i walked out of that ward.. with the biggest smile on my face..
the hint of a tear in my eye..
and the slightest sniffle.

--------------------------
i smile a small smile..
when i see the 2nd years..
on their 1 week placement..
with that carefree-ness of laughing around in the gym..
try doing that in 3rd year clinics and see how your supervisors tick you off for professional conduct.
and complaining that patients smell.. to their SUPERVISOR.
HA.
hello.. you think this is ER? where beds look all freshly made, white, and inviting?
and everything smells like a bed of roses?
Welcome to the real world...
and trust me.. i've had my share of extremely-bad-smells.